Dazzlean Pimpontology


[Be forewarned that formulations found here may be impenetrable without recourse to How to Be a Motherfucking Pimp itself]

However, as with everything else in this book, this is not to be actually implemented in any way. 

I am Astar, a robot. I can put my arm back on. You can’t. So, play safe.

We know that the GAME potentiates the pimp Game and in this we have instantiations. We have pimps, hoes and bitches. Somehow PIMP and HO transect them while they are also governed by Pimp, Ho and Game which are modes thereof.[1] It would seem that these higher principles are onto-themselves, although profoundly involved in the lower spheres of activity. Their spatiotemporal counterparts (Pimp, Ho and Game) are appreciable, but largely intuitive being felt in their effects. From this we have their corporeal instantiations. These are substantial as anchoring points between which individuals may move. They are fixed, but they are also points of transit. After all, in the beginning there were just bitches. Indeed, but right now we are flying at 40,000 feet. So what does this mean on the ground? How do they (viz. bitches) take on their assumed roles and what are the implications? As Eazy-E said, Now back, back, back to the fucking basics.

It would seem that they are relayed to and fro through Pimp, Ho and Game. However, these are determined by Cock and Hole. The thing is, we do not just have pimps, hoes and bitches. There are other, aberrant points of identification such as tricks and gorillas.[2] Let’s try to map this out and then unpack it. We will use schematic terms in an effort to strip the conceptuality bare. Consider the Π Chart.[3]



Π Chart

[This chart is much clearer in How to Be a Motherfucking Pimp ]

What we have here are elements and relations. Firstly, what should be apparent is its major structural divisions. At the top we have PIMP, GAME and HO. These stand alone and supervene two strata of reality. These are the Alchemic Realm and the Bitch Realm and they are defined by the manner of their subordination to the upper principals.[4] From this tripartite division, six quadrates can be found.[5] They are not all marked on Π Chart, but from left to right they run in the following way. Pimp, Game and Ho along the Alchemic Realm. In the Bitch Realm are Simp, Game’ and Slut. As you can see, the two realms are separated by the Dividing Line. This line reveals a spectral duality where the higher order is reflected by its traduced state. This does not occur from just top to bottom, but complementarity can be seen from upper left to lower right as well as lower left to upper right, but we will return to this consideration in a moment. If we are going to come to a dynamic understanding of the model, the best way to proceed is by just that and to allow it to de-(en)velope.[6]

Looking from the top left, the order of PIMP is narrow. This is because it is absolute. However, like HO and Game, it suffers variation as it descends in the world. The upper Alchemic Realm is the productive realm. It is the site of action and holds $’ which stands for pimp. This is a substantial mode (homoousios). Underneath is the Realm of Bitches, the realm of fallen matter. This is the less pure realm and holds both potential and aberration. At this intersection we find G which stands for gorilla.[7] The gorilla participates in a distortion of PIMP and is only of a like substance (homoiousios). Let’s leave this lower order alone for the moment. What we will do is begin with the pimp and start making sense of the other elements.

The pimp ($’) makes himself by engaging the vagina (V). But as you can see, this is indirect. The order of PIMP and HO are oppositional and brook no confluence. That is why GAME is between them, being a product and an ordering of them. However, if we look at the pimp in Pimp, there is a vector to vagina (V) in Ho, but it doesn’t pass through Game, or not at this point. Just like in quantum mechanics, if you pardon the whimsy, he approaches it through a wormhole.[8] This is apt because he doesn’t ‘actually’ fuck his hoes, yet the hole is engaged and he worms shit out of it.[9] This is not just vagina, but Hole. This is the primary alchemic site. It yields $ which stand for money and exists under the order of GAME. This line of force continues through to Cock and is represented by ¶, the pilcrow. Cock sits on the edge of GAME and PIMP and further coordinates the pimp. This is because the whole quadrate under GAME is the pimp Game and the pimp is aligned with it through Cock just as much as the vagina is. This is a very important quadrate. Underneath it is another Game, a less pure one. This is the gangsta Game, but we will make sense of that in a moment. Just as the pimp Game is the central quadrate of the upper realm, so too is Pimp to the left and Ho to the right. Let’s look more closely at the vagina in Ho.

Now the vagina is represented by V for a couple reasons. Typoörthographically, it is both the letter that vagina begins with, but it also pictorially represents the cavity and absence that it embodies.[10]  Moreover, it is the logical disjunct that represents its fundamental cleavage. This happens in a twofold way. In the first sense you have the vagina, a (w)hole lot of fun, but you also have the vagina dentata, the terrifying mollusk. However, the Janus face of the vagina is compounded by a further disjunction. This feature further supports its divided character as its counterpart is the slut in the realm below, in the Slut quadrate, and is represented by ∅, the empty set. It is an empty set because sluttiness is a pervasive characteristic and, as such, is diffuse and non-isolatable.[11] There are only sluts, but this can only find elaboration after a lot more groundwork. Now you might want to throw your hands up here, but do not. There is a final disjunctive quality that is all important.

The vagina as V is also the logical vel disjunct that does not entail mutual exclusion.[12] In this coupling of absences, you find the ho that inhabits either the Ho quadrate or the Slut quadrate. This is very interesting because this coupling is the ho’s motor force. She needs to participate in both quadrates. This is what makes the vagina usable in the Game and not just a site of wanton promiscuity. It becomes an ordered and disciplined space despite being yoked to the slut. So how is it mobilized?

Well, in the Game’ quadrate is T. This is the trick.[13] From the trick you should notice two things. They are both material movements. The first is the straight movement of cash ($) up into the Game. Here it has a recursive relation between $ and V as it compounds with the trick’s lust. From here both continue onward to the pimp. The pimp is $’ because he is synonymous with $ and effectively ¶ as we have seen. Now, in this relation from T to $/V we see the alchemic basis. Money is produced, but so is sense (¢). This is what makes life meaningful. This is all facilitated through $’ making a ho a ho and a trick a trick. But this is only half of the story.

The other side of the trick is that which passes through ∅. In doing this he taps the ho-potential. This triggering of inner slut is what makes the vagina move toward sluttiness. This is significant as it takes two to tango.[14] The pimp cannot make a ho without her hoing it out to someone. In this the trick is instrumental. However, do note that the trick is a substandard human being. He is in the fallen realm, but this is the beauty of alchemy. It is across the dividing line that all magic happens. The forlorn trick and his empty pockets are the nigredo. He is the by-product. So is the dead ho, when this eventuality comes around. But even while still alive,[15] the ho being her angry bitter self is the caput mortuum.[16] Gold is in the pimp’s pocket and this is very significant.

When we began with the pimp trajectory you should have noticed its looping quality. This is the reinforcement of $, $’, and ¶. In fact, the ¶ actually creates this indentation, this puncture, and allows this correspondence.[17] This is what creates beauty in Game and Pimp. This is why G is outside looking in. He sees the pimp, but he doesn’t really see Cock. He sees money,[18] but he doesn’t truly understand its nature qua Cock.[19] Similarly, we have G’. This is the gangsta.[20] To be fair to him, we should really consider him on the bottom line. That is because he actually operates in another Game. However, this shows how pure the pimp Game is. The gangsta is a bitch, but he models himself along pimp lines. How interesting.

We are not done yet. Let’s try and extrapolate and make sense of COCK, a question most vexing. Consult Πp2 Chart.


schema corrected

Πp2 Chart

[Ditto as to the size and resolution. See How to Be a Motherfucking]

Now in Πp2 Chart you can see a world of difference.[21] COCK and HOLE converge at ¢.[22] It means that retroactively it only makes sense to make money and participate in the Game. Furthermore, in this yellow line you can see that both COCK and HOLE run through their incarnations ¶ and ∅.[23] This I suspect is the vivifying force. Sluttiness falls under the sway of Cock. This is what allows everything to be the way it is in Game. There is a complication though. Consider πr3 Chart.[24]

43πr3 Chart

πr3 Chart

We can also consider COCK to HOLE as meeting directly at their antipodes, apparently consonant with the relationship between $’ and V. In this way we bring COCK to the HOLE in a fashion that brings the other likewise opposed corners into contact. What we have now is a sphere that is bound tightly by COCK.[25] This is an important observation as COCK is really all there is. HOLE is a vacuity that emits no light. It is an aim that COCK targets but keeps missing, making the repetition of the one, the many. Doing this, COCK goes round and round upon itself tying these balls with ever more ribbons.[26] In this we see the beginning of knots as our lines of force create enclosures.[27] This makes a lot of sense, but something is still missing. This theorizing is an attempt to understand the unknown. COCK still abounds in mystery. Nevertheless, the next step is to push the boundaries and try to find the truth revealed through my devotion and meditation. One’s assault on COCK must be a multipronged affair. [28]

For an excerpt of ‘patapimpics click HERE


[1] Do note that the upper order can be at odds with its lower orders. Remember that PIMP, HO and GAME function on a cosmological level and, as such, have ec-centric properties.

[2] By definition, they are on the periphery.

[3] This could also be called a schema Π, or pi scheme as you have seen in the Pimponzi Schema Pi2.

[4]               Sur l’oreiller du mal c’est Satan Trismégiste

                    Qui berce longuement notre esprit enchanté,

                    Et le riche métal de notre volonté

                    Est tout vaporisé par ce savant chimiste

[5] Yes, quadrants.

[6] Etymologically we are looking at a wrapping/unwrapping.

[7] As Montell Jordan said, “The hood’s been good to me. Ever since I was a lower case g, but now I’m a big G.”

[8] As JT Money said, “I told you ‘bout trustin’ them stankin’ ass H-Os. You gotta learn to work them bitches for the pes-Os.”

[9] It would be uninstructive to evoke Dr. Johnson and what he says it means to worm. To worm—“to deprive a dog of something, nobody knows what, under his tongue, which is said to prevent him, nobody knows why, from running mad.”

[10] The convention of sous rature will be maintained elsewhere for considerations of this nature.

[11] But this might be where we start counting.

[12] We are getting into fuzzy logic here.

[13] T because it is his place of crucifixion.

[14] You will also note that in T/∅/$/V are the lines of force that dance in a giant $. This is the propagating relation that sustains the basic transaction through the ages. This is the eternal appeal, but it is in this through to the relation of ¶ that we have the Game. This is how it is comprehensive, this is where we see the importance of the divided line.

[15] Living and partly living.

[16] I think you can see that these may be one and the same.

[17] In the early monastic tradition, the pilcrow indicated a change in thought. It differentiated the undifferentiated. a linea. The line that divides. We see that in the horizontal line of force. After all, it is a carriage return. However, we will also see it as an intersection with COCK. Similarly, in modern typeface, it is the invisible character that supports space as meaningful. This is interesting. It is the present absent as a control character. More interestingly is that it is supported, on a lower level, in Unicode and raised up, or lowered, to the level of other character. This is another reason why we need to consider COCK.

[18] As already noted, the convergent dynamic line of force that that makes $ $. This is captivating.

[19] La mariée mise à nu par ses célibataires, même.

[20] This can be synonymous with thug (Thug and THUG). This will become clearer in PIMP a(e)s(thic)s: Motherfucking.

[21] You will note that it is not circular. You can circle the square, but you cannot square the circle. So they say. Behold. This is nothing though. You will see that its importance is only in attaining the sphere, and yet even this gives way to further topological considerations.

[22] That makes sense. But, as you will see, HOLE always remains mysterious. It is impenetrable. Perhaps more so than COCK.

[23] As a strange polyvalent space, Vagina is actually connected, but for this you will have to wait for the (πr^2)(2πR) Chart. This is the volume of a torus.

[24] With the namesake a rendering in volume.

[25] You will have noticed that πp^2 is the formula for a circle’s radius. Ahuh, you might say. There is still another dimension missing. You would be right. Hold tight because we’ll get there even though we’ll always be a dimension away.

[26] If COCK ever went into the HOLE, would it still be COCK? It’s hard to fucking tell.

[27] Moreover, we see their untying when we challenge the uniformity of the surface into another space which could create a cross-cap, Roman surface, or Boy surface.

[28] You may have noticed that in an interesting way I had chosen the path of Anselm, although this is somewhat problematical. I sought necessary reason with a certain circularity as natural reason, a product dependent and produced by the illumination that I presupposed. But is this actually circular? Would St. Augustine taken me to task? Tough to say.


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